going to visit my grandma

This is a picture of her about 70 years ago.

this weekend I am going to visit my grandmother.
She is 91.

She has dementia.

Last time I saw her
she still knew me...but she has forgotten my kids
names. She did know they were mine but thats all.
so....I am going to spend some time with her. Talk
to her. Maybe read to her if she wants. Do her nails.
Walk beside her as she uses her walker. Play a game
if she feels like it. I want to record her voice and write
down any old stories she can remember. I just want
to be with her.

not my usual blog

ok

this is different from what I usually write about. but it was on my mind...

I thought and thought and wished I had someone to tell this to...so here goes

and if you read this and have an opinion I really want to hear from you.

I was at Kohl's a while back. I was in line at the check out counter watching

the man in front of me. I am usually interested in what others buy and watched as he unloaded his purchases... He was relatively young.....compared to me is what

I mean...probably young enough to be my son but not a teenager. So he had chosen

some nice things. He had several pairs of dress pants, several really nice button up shirts, 2 or 3 ties, a belt, a package of underwear and a package of undershirts. He even had a pair of

exercise clothes, an overcoat and two really nice pairs of loafers. I was imagining that he had just gotten a new job and needed some really nice clothes. They were really attractive choices. Or maybe he was going for job interviews. I was just entertaining myself. Then I realized. He had everything he could possibly need for whatever he was going to do except socks. Now, I know that some men don't wear socks even with loafers...but with a dress shirt and tie? Is that

ok? I was really wondering and thinking YOU NEED SOCKS to go with those outfits. They have some nice socks around the corner.....I was thinking so hard I wanted to say it out loud....

Excuse me young man, but don't you need some socks? It was a really excruciating moment and I kept my mouth shut. I could just imagine him saying....UH NO..... but thanks....

I have a whole drawful at home..... I don't wear socks........my mom doesn't dress me any more......I can figure these things out on my own....

so, the moment passed...he payed for his clothes...and left. I so wanted to know...

when he gets home is he going to realize that he didn't buy any socks???

boxes of stuff...

I've been thinking about all the things that belong to me and to my family. We have a lot of stuff. In the past I have had "stuff" in two different countries and two different states.

I have had stuff that was available to me and stuff that was in storage. Boxes marked Save for later and boxes marked store long term....

boxes marked clothes to grow into for the kids and scrap book memories for scrap books.

Recently I have unpacked some things that I have not seen in a while. I was amazed at my emotional reaction to some of them. Just things, but things I love and things that bring back warm memories of when I got them or someone special who gave them to me. And then there were some things that made me wonder why did I hang on to that piece of junk!!! some of this stuff isn't even good enough for Good Will!!!

Now the pans in the picture above might look like they should go to the Good Will, however I love them because I have had them since we got married 33 years ago. I have made countless cakes, breads and flan in them. I have missed them while they were stored away. I am very happy to see them again.

So it has been a sort of walk down memory lane. A time to reflect on friends and coffee mugs and many a shared cup of coffee or tea. People I love and things I shared with them. Cake and coffee and dinner with friends who will be forever dear to us. So, I thank God for friends and things that help me remember them.

FOURTEEN

Here is what fourteen looks like around our house!!


He's four inchs taller than I am and his voice is getting deeper.



oh, he's a razorback fan, too

just us 2

We had a fun weekend...while Jordan, Tyler and Autumn went on a retreat with their Youth Group. I was a bit uneasy about sending them off but really thought they were ready for the separation and able to keep up with their stuff and enjoy the time. And they did.

So Billy and I went out to eat...watched two dvds...had lunch with some friends ....went shopping for Jordans birthay presents...stayed up late and slept late and only worried a teeny bit about
the kids. It was good. I'm actually looking forward to next time :)