its a gray puddly day

today is officially our last day as members of NTM. feeling a little sad about that.
wishing I understood. after 20 years it feels sort of like a death in the family.
however, I have been encouraged by some things I read in my this years devo book
called Streams in the Desert.

a line from yesterday.....

"A time of trouble and darkness is meant to teach you a lesson you need. Premature deliverance may circumvent God's work of grace in your life. Commit the entire situation to Him and be willing to abide in darkness, knowing He is present."

and a line from today....

"The storms of sorrow are intense, but they are one of the Father's ways of driving us
to Himself.......Jesus Christ is not my security against the storms of life, but He is my perfect security IN the storms."

so, for today, I sit drinking my coffee, watching the rain and CHOOSE to believe that God is present in my dark day, CHOOSE to look to Him as our security in this present life storm. CHOOSE to rejoice that He knows the way out and when He is ready He will show us the next step.

March 26, 1984

Today is Aubrey's 25th birthday.

What an exciting time it was!! Our first child. She was due in early May but came

in March. We were so excited and sooo scared!

I remember having a backache for two whole days before she was born. I didn't realize

at the time but I was probably experiencing back labor. Never heard of it before this.

Anyway, the morning of her birth I woke feeling great!! Such a change from the two

days before. I was taking some college courses at the time...so off early to my four classes

of the day. Then after I got home Billy and I ran some errands in Hattiesburg. As soon as we

got back from town I started supper. Then as I was cooking my water broke. Since it was

very unexpected I thought maybe I was mistaken. So, I called the Dr. He asked me to describe

what had happened...then naively I asked could the labor be stopped? He said no....not if my

water had really broken. So, off to the hospital in a small town near our home. As soon as I

arrived the Dr. told me if I was in active labor he wanted me to go to Hattisburg because the hospital there had a neonatal unit. After a quick check he said I needed to go as quickly and safely as possible to the bigger hospital. In the meantime he would call and alert them I was

on the way. Off we went...I don't think Billy drove as safely as he could.... :)

We were going pretty fast! I started having some really impressive contractions on the way.

I had only been to one lamaze class...the week before....and so was not ready for all that

was happening...and happening really fast! By the time we got to the hospital I could not stand up. Billy had to help me get out and into the ER.....they were ready for me with a wheel chair.

I was relieved to arrive and be wheeled to the right place. I was completely overwhelmed by

this whole thing. Very quickly they got me changed and ready....and three hours later she was born. I got to hold her for just a minute. Then into an incubator. Thankfully, she was breathing well, but she was pretty small...just over five pounds. By the time we got to a room and tried to rest a bit...it was morning. My brother Wayne came from Mobile about 6 in the morning. Billy was starved and so they went off to Shoney's for the breakfast bar and left me there to eat hospital breakfast! I was a bit peeved...but was so hungry I ate everything they brought me.

Then what joy....The nurse brought my baby Aubrey Leigh to my room to hold and nurse and

admire to my hearts content! What a joyful time. Such a gift from God.

Name this bush

Do you know the name of this bush? It is my all time favorite bush. In the spring especially and sometimes in the fall all the new growth is red. Sometimes, I cut a bunch of stems to put in a jar inside. They are so pretty when the sunlight shines on them. I just love them! The name?

Do you know?

points of view

This is a self portrait. I haven't gotten the knack of taking pics of myself yet. The reason for putting it on here is because there is snow in the background. I love snow.

One of the days I spent with my Grandma it snowed almost the whole entire day. I loved it! In the early afternoon, while my grandma dozed in her chair...I sat drinking hot creamy coffee and watched the snow falling and knew that it was a gift day. I enjoyed spending time with her. I quietly recorded her telling me some things about her childhood. I crocheted her a small afghan variegated blue...that matched her quilt :) I tucked the afghan round her and felt that God's blessings were so evident in this day.

Then she woke up from her nap.....stretched and smiled at me.....pleased to see me.

I said look outside at the beautiful snow. She turned in her chair and watched the snow falling

then turned to me with great anxiety. She said she needed to go home. She didn't want to be stuck somewhere in the snow. She needed someone to come get her before the snow got too deep. She fretted and worried and asked for phone numbers of someone who could come take her home before the storm got worse. I knew that it was the dementia that made her afraid.

I told her she was already home. She was safe. She didn't have to worry one single minute about the snow. I wanted to kick myself for mentioning the snow!!!

After a while she quieted down and dozed off again. I sat back relieved. I continued to drink

my coffee and watching the snow. I pondered the difference........ her reaction to the snow and my reaction. It made me so sad. Dementia is such a thief. It takes away joy.

Maybe half an hour later she woke again...saw me there and smiled and called me by name.

Asked if I had been there long? She said she was so glad to see me....her first grandchild.

It was a blessed day.....