...... teens....and ....time.......

Autumn has turned 13 today.
She has waited for two whole
years to get facebook. She
thought the day would never
come. But, finally, here
she is. A teenager.
Facebook. Needing me less.

I know its just a matter of time
til all of my kids will be grown.
Sometimes, it seemed the day would
never come. But, now, I don't want
it to....

I miss the babies they were. How
they crawled up in my lap for snuggles,
kisses, songs.

I miss the toddlers...making messes....
fighting with each other....still needing
hugs and reassurance from mom.

I miss the elementary school age...
still wanting to hold my hand....
at least sometimes....
still dependent on me for so many
things.

Yes, they still depend on me for food
and clean laundry. But, they can make
their own food and do their own laundry,
now. They have opinions about their
clothes. They don't want me to show
any sort of affection in public.
yes, that's the way it should be.

and still, I miss them....

OCTOBER

finally!!! it is here!!!
my favorite month of the year.
and the weather is cooperating
beautifully. i have added a blanket
to our bed. i had to find the socks
hidden in the bottom of my dresser.
i have already been inspired to make
a large pot of chili and a pot
of our favorite beef stew.
i've been watching the trees.
down the block is a tree that
turns the most vibrant yellow
in late october. every year i watch and
wait to see it. that tree alone could
be the highlight of fall for me.
but, then there are the ornamental pear
trees. they turn fluffy white in the
spring and deep, wonderful red in the fall.
sometimes i've been known to park in the
walmart parking lot near one of those red
trees and just sit gazing with gladness
at the color. of course that lasts only
until someone says...aren't we going in MOM?
i'm ready for popcorn, apple cider and caramel
apples. i'm ready for peace and gladness.
i'm looking forward to thanksgiving.
i'm thankful for glimpses of hope and joy.
hope has been missing around here lately.
and joy ran away. but, i hope they don't
stay gone long. i hope.