november

the kids have been
sick with a really bad cold, so they were
slow to get up this morning. i didn't rush
them. but, once they were up and had eaten
breakfast then i could tell they were ready
for a little school time. out came the books.
i did have pity on them and didn't give out the
full load. so we will be behind for a few days.
being behind in homeschooling isn't really that
bad. we can catch up a little here or there.
but, i do have certain things i want to be
sure we finish before Christmas break.
to me that makes the break more restful. nothing
hanging over my head as far as school is
concerned.

today was cold and cloudy. i finally had to
pull out a hoodie to wear to the store this
afternoon. its annoying to me when i have to
wear a jacket...cold outside... put on the jacket.
hot in the store...take off the jacket...
back out to the car... put on the jacket...
just annoys me.

however, i did enjoy wearing my hoodie when
i sat on the back porch this afternoon
with a cup of hot tea. it felt cozy.
the wind was blowing and the squirrels
were running all over burying acorns.
they really like to come rob my bird
feeders, too....but since i was outside they
didn't come close.

thanksgiving is next week. i am prepared to
be thankful, but i'm not much in the mood
for celebration. however, i am determined
that my mood will not rob my family of a
good thanksgiving holiday. its my favorite.
yes, i love christmas...but thanksgiving
is more simple. i am thankful for many
things...but i am also learning about
being thankful in the midst of a most
difficult season in our lives.

last year about this time my sweet little
grandmother had two massive strokes.
i went to spend the week with my family
in oklahoma... leaving hubby and kids here
to have thanksgiving with his family. in
35 years of marriage that was the first
time we had been separated for a major
holiday. at the time i was certain my
grandmother was going to die. but she
hasn't. she is still breathing....lying
almost silently, having to be fed and
changed and bathed...unable to do anything
for herself. it is one of the saddest
things i have ever seen. and still she
holds on. i love her so much. i hate
seeing her like this. i hope very soon
she will wake up and see Jesus face to
face...then she can run and skip and smile
and be free.

i can't help wondering what next year will
hold. will this or that situation still
be unresolved? will i be free of this
worry. will that concern be a thing of the
past? so i go on...waiting...trusting...
waiting...trusting...waiting....